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Wipeout Pure on a dropped PSP

Wipeout Pure on a dropped PSP

 

Yesterday I finally managed to find and buy a PSP in London. Supplies have been somewhat low of these slightly desirable items and I was almost forced to gazump another seeker-after-shiny-things in order to obtain my prize. Fortunately such nastiness was avoided thanks to a rather obscure store on the popular tourist death trap that is Oxford Street.

With the PS I acquired Wipeout Pure. I wanted Virtua Tennis but I got Wipeout Pure. This means the review of Virtua Tennis on a dropped PSP will have to wait a day or so longer.

So down to business.

Wipeout Pure is a version of the futurist racer series started on the Playstation 1. The series is most notable for it's stylings and generally kick ass in game tunes. In Pure you get more of the same but in a handy handheld format. Apparently you get a selection of tracks from across the series (albeit tweaked for controller differences) as well as new tracks specifically made for the PSP. I wouldn't know because my screen looks like this:

Hey guys! look at my huge sexy screen!

Put the UMD disc into the console and we're away. Music starts up and with a quick tap of the X button we hear more music but this time it's different. Oh and there are some bleeps and bloops which could be from a menu or relating to important information. I wouldn't know because I dropped my PSP from 3ft onto a nice bit of carpet.

Giving the X button a few more taps and the O for good measure we arrive at something that sounds like it could be a race about to begin. As with any racing game knowing the track ahead of you is the key to success. I therefore spend time familiarising myself with this track.

Man. That screen sure am shiny.

The picture above is at a really tricky corner. I say tricky because when you drop a PSP and attempt to play Wipeout like a huge stubborn ass-clown then you rapidly come to the conclusion that even straight sections of track are deadly.

Judging be the sounds escaping from the surprisingly good speakers I ascertain I have died.  This induces a great feeling of inadequacy which, mixed wth the overwhelming feeling of sadness at having dropped my PSP and the sneaking suspicion that I'm a total klutz, releases a single tear from my beautiful hazel eyes.

A final close-up shot for those of you more interested in graphics than game play:

And we're done.

 
 
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